Do The “Unelect” Really Hate And Reject God?

Those who follow Reformed Theology will say that people go to hell because they “reject God and hate Him.” They say God only died for the elect and eternally loves the elect, but doesn't eternally love the unelect. They believe God did the electing before anyone was born. So if a believer in Reformed Theology has a family member, say his mother, who is not one of the elect, then Christ didn't love her enough to die for her. So in reality it had nothing to do with the mother rejecting and hating God. God made the decision before the mother was born. His mother may hate and reject God, but that
is not the reason why she will face the consuming fire and be destroyed, if  Reformed Theology is true.

Many will say that God hated Esau before he was born (which scripture does not tell us this). So then, it doesn't matter if Esau hated God. God ALREADY hated Esau first! So it doesn’t matter if Esau or the mother hated God, because God ALREADY DECIDED the fate of the mother and Esau (and all the unelect) before they were ever born and nothing will change God’s mind, according to Reformed theology.  So it cannot be said they are rejecting God and salvation because it was never theirs in the first place! How can one “reject” something that was never extended to them?

Example: I am going to have a party, but I have decided not to invite you. I find out after the invitations are sent that you hate me. It wouldn't matter to me if you hated me because I hated you before you were ever born, which is why I didn't invite you to my party! So, would you be rejecting my invitation because you hate me? Of course the answer is, “No.” How can you reject an invitation that was never extended to you in the first place?

Reformed Theology believes that their god rejected the unelect before the foundation of the world.  Since this is what it teaches, then committing vile sins, hating God, and rejecting Him has nothing to do with why God rejects them!

The teachings of Reformed Theology are illogical and irrational.